Getting married is like going into business
No? You say? Well it is.
I get it! You’re both in love and flying high and mighty on cloud 9. It is a great feeling and sorry to say but it is just the feeling when you get a brand new car or something new. How long this euphoria lasts depends on how soon you hit reality. If you’re dating, this will come to play eventually as you have your first argument and disagreement. If you’re not living together, wait till you do. There’s nothing like a confined space and you two spending time together that allows humans to get in each other’s face. You have to be realistic before taking the steps to get married. Now, I realize that there are wonderful stories of those who just let the wind of love take them and hit the ride of their life without planning but there is a lot to say about how hard it was and how they either got through it or not.
Like businesses, most marriages don’t make it past 1 to 3 years. Why? Well, as I mentioned before, first you are in awe of each other and then you really know each other. Those who decide to call it quits are in my opinion brave. Why? Well, it is best to walk away then to make each other miserable. Imagine spending 20 to 40 years with someone who doesn’t like you? If this were a job and a coworker you didn’t like, you would have quit or find a way to leave the job, no? Most people do this.
So what to do? First, let’s be honest with ourselves, you have goals, issues and maybe even baggage you need to sort out before you find someone. If you’re early enough in your game, don’t be a fool and rush into trying to find someone you love. Get your life together. Go to school, find a job and create your own business, because finances will become important in your future. As a matter of fact, get a sales job, a sales job will teach you so much in life that no other job will. It will teach you how to deal with people from all walks of life and how to hustle to get that sale. How to listen, yes you will learn that too. Will this be important in your relationship? Yes, of course, listening will allow you to get a long with your loved one. In your life and as an owner, employer or even employee, it will benefit whatever you do.
Other important things, understand how to save, invest and grow your money. Don’t just spend, enjoy, save and invest. Don’t know how to invest? You can start with as little as $100 at just about any online inevesting company. Savings? yes, save some money at least between $3 to $5k dollars. Why? You may need to it one day so call it you emergency fund. Once you start paying rent or mortgage, you will need to have 3 times the amount of money you need to survive a month in your savings. Now money isn’t everything but it is the number one of problems in a broken home. You may love each other to death but if there isn’t any money to survive, you will fight about this and it will create deeper issues.
You should also look at your parents relationship, read up on them and take a good look at your self, how you are and how you behave. Think about who you want as a partner in life. Giving this some thought and knowledge will help you recognize the right person at the right time when you meet them, and you will meet them. You hear stories about people who can’t find someone who they can love. The problem is not that they can’t find someone, it is that 1, they are looking in the wrong places (bars, clubs, and online) and 2) the other problem is that they haven’t given themselves a good look as to how well they measure as a catch. Also ask yourself, are you looking for sex or are you looking for love? There is a difference and one way or the other you may end up either pissing someone off or upset at yourself. By all means always respect people while dating but be clear with them as to what your intentions are. Don’t say I love you just because you think you have to say it.
So you’ve taken care of your self, issues, baggage, money, schooling and now you’re out in the world making that dolla. Your partner is out there and so how do you meet your partner? Funny you asked that. Why? Because your partner could basically walk right by you and you wouldn’t know it. So what am I saying? What I’m saying is that you need to meet people anywhere you go, and if someone looks interesting, get to know them. Find out who they are, what they do, what they like and slowly of course, if they are already spoken for. If they aren’t follow through on your getting to know and then deliver the ask question to have a date. All this of course, given that they meet your interest criteria.
So remember we were talking about business and marriage being alike. When two partners in business are pondering about going to bed together. They look at their strengths, likes, dislikes, way of thinking, how much do they bring to the table, both money and skills. Are they positive, could one compliment the other. If there is a match, they go into business and yes, they do create a contract. Guess what, marriage is basically the same way. Ever talked to someone and found out how bitter they are because they were married, got divorced and sol all their assets or lost the house through divorce? Well there you have it. The reality is, that you’re in business and it could possibly go wrong.
But enough about the unhappy stuff. While things can go wrong, getting yourselve right and straight could help your chances of making your marriage last forever. There is something to say about being honest with each other at first. There isn’t a need to be fake or someone you’re not. Guess what, if you do that, it will bite you in the ass later. Be straight and be honest. It will help the other person know that you’re a straight shooter and that is commendable.
All in all, we’ve talked about business and marriage. Both produce products. What? Products? What do you mean? Yes a business produces products which it sells and a marriage produces kids, if you want to have kids and they become part of this world. Know beforehand if the other person wants kids – it is important. think about this, you don’t want surprises later that the other person does not like kids.
lastly, love comes and goes, and you will get bored of each other. It is a reality. So what do you do? Talk to each other and find out what’s old and what new things you both want to get into, either about sex, life and or journeys. Don’t forget you’re in this together and as long as you both know that, it will last a long time. Happy life trails!